Science jokes
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
Hey, did you know that Stephen Hawking predicted the end of the world?
Well, not really. He predicted the end of *his* world.
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
He had a song named after him: "They see me rolling."
Stephen Hawking just died. Have they tried rebooting him to factory settings?
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking + Computer = SMART!
Stephen Hawking + Shoulder = HUNGRY!
One time, I bought a magnet. My wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself; I felt attracted to it.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
What would Stephen Hawking do to get drunk?
Overcharge himself.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
Stephen Hawking couldn't take the stairway to Heaven, he had to take the lift.
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
What's black and at the top of a staircase?
Not Stephen Hawking.