How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
What's the definition of total chaos?
A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.
How does NASA organize their parties? They planet.
I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.
Why do pills work?
Because they are white.
According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.
Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!
What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.
What do you call a mushroom that makes music?
A decomposer.
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.
What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!
Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?
"No."
He hasn't too.
