Who's never the last man standing?
Stephen Hawking.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Because of gravity.
Why does the nucleus feel trapped?
Because it’s inside a cell!
Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.
Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.
I tried to catch fog, but I mist.
Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?
Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon.
How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?
He spills coffee on his iPad.
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"
What is a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
