School Jokes

Why did Helen Keller fail school she was bad at language

So at school there are these twins at my school so I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them once I realized I why it felt so wrong to do it I had already threw them I hit the north then the south one.

there was this boy he had diarrhea and he kept asking to go to the bathroom but the teacher said no next ting you know he poop his self infront of the class.

What did the calculator say to the student? You can always count on me.

Q: Why do Americans fish with guns?

A: To shoot up the whole school

The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest. He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.

We don't have school shooters we have special ed breeches

My sister is the weired dark one and emo of the family im the bright happy one once in 3rd grade i got a huge A on mine and my sis got a D- In the playground Near a tree we were siting and playing i said "hey a C- is not that bad and raised my hand up to give her a high five but she left me hanging

me,'' i came home laughing'' parents,'' what's wrong'' me,''the teacher asked everyone a question luckily i was the only one who had known'' parents,'' good for you johnny what was the fantastic question your teacher had gave everyone and only knew'' me,'' well its kinda complicated but here it goes'' parents,''what is it'' me,''WHO FARTED.''

an adopted kid is walking to school when an emo kid aportes him hey says the emo kid do you have rope No replies the adopted kid Dang it i hate you says the emo kid "now the adopted one is angry" Well at least im loved says the adopted kid.

if you know a emo kid please stay away the depression is contagions I,m a survivor like if you dislike emos.

I was at school one day and my teacher gave me home work and once i got home i did not do my home work but i watched TV after movie i finally went to go do my home work i was almost done with my home work when i got to the last question i didnt know the answer so i asked the closest living being to me witch was my dog and i asked him: whats two minus two? he said nothing

A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.

But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?' ''Yes madam......My daddy told me a story about my Mom " "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.

"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit". "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife". "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

Pin drop silence in the class !!

''Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?"

"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk```......!!!!"

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?

So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC's so he goes home and ask his mom who's cooking "Whats the first letter of the ABC's?" he ask and his mom responds with "SHUT UP... I'M COOKING!" so then he walks to sister who's signing in the shower and asks her "Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC's?" she responds with "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" then he walks over to his brother who's watching batman and asks "Whats the 3rd letter of the ABC's" and his brother responds with "nu nu nu nu batman" then he proceeds to walk to his dad who's watching football and ask "Dad whats the 4th letter of the ABC's?" and he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" then he walks to his grandma who's cooking buns and ask her "Whats the 5th letter of the ABC's?" and she responds with "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!" then he Johnny proceeds to go to school the next day and the teacher says to her class "Can any of you tell me the first letter of the ABC's" Johnny of course raises his hand and the teacher calls on him then he says "SHUT UP I'M COOKING!" then the teacher raises and eyebrow and says "Young man are you ready to go to the principals office?" then he proceeds to say "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" and he walks to the principals office then she says "What's you're name son?" he responds with "Nu nu nu nu batman!" then the principal ask "How many spanken's boy?!" he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD" and after that he runs out of the principal's office well yelling "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!"

So I am an emo dude so I sit in the back of the class and I talk to no one.But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me so I just ignored him.Then he got really pissed off and said “I’m gonna kill you”.I was like “Your gonna kill me just because I ignored you, is your ego that big, wow.”He left then the next day he brought his goons with him and said “now your dead” I ignored him again and he said “you will pay for this.”So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house then him and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died so I kept on walking.I had some rope traps set.This was the best day of my life.

This is why you never mess with emo’s.We have ropes everywhere.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Billy and Bobby were walking to school one day. Billy pulled out an mp3 player. "What's that?" Bobby inquired. "Oh, just something to zone out the other kids." Billy responded. The next day, Billy and Bobby were walking to school. Billy rummaged through his backpack, and pulled out an mp4 player this time. "Woah! What's that?" Bobby inquired. "Oh, just a lil something to shut out the annoying kids at school." Billy responded. The next day, Bobby noticed Billy's backpack was particularly heavy looking. Billy rummaged through his backpack just outside the school, and pulled out an mp5 rifle. "Holy shit, dude! What the fuck is that for?" Bobby gasped. "Nice huh? This'll shut those fuckers up for good!" Billy replied.