School jokes

There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!

"I met a girl and she's 28."

"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."

- AJR

Back the halls with gasoline, la la la la la.

Light a match and watch it gleam, la la la la la.

My school is burnt into ashes, fa la la la la, la la la la.

I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.

A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"

Cheap oil, no immigration, and no school shootings.

Corona did what Trump promised.

All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.

When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.

When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃

When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟

Why did the fastest cat get kicked out of school?

He was a cheetah.

So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.

Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.

Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.

And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."

Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?

Because it always cheated.

Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"

The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"

Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."

What do your teacher and your friend have in common? They will both die eventually.

Why can’t orphans go to a field trip?

Parent signature: __________

"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"

"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!

My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week.

He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.