School jokes

What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.

A bird was on a branch at school today. I turn away to talk to my friends, and another bird was there when I turned around. I turn around again, and the birds are having fucking sex!!!

What the fuck.

Now I've seen everything.

When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.

What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?

They both shoot when they see kids.

Teacher: Take a seat, class.

Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.

Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?

When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"

So I was at high school one day in the bathrooms, and I'm circumcised, and the kid next to me wasn't, so he showed me his pp, and he had a foreskin, so I was just playing with it until the teacher walked in, then I got fired...

Teacher: "Stand up, class!"

She is sitting down.

Teacher: "Whoever stands up is stupid!"

Yo mama so fat her yearbook picture was a double-page spread.

Dogs say woof.

Cows say moo.

Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"

Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.

"Fuck the school, fuck it!"

You know how on Snapchat "hmu" means hit me up? A school posted "smu." Nikolas Cruz responded.

What’s the only other advantage of being an orphan?

The teacher can’t give you homework.

Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.

Why did the fastest cat get kicked out of school?

He was a cheetah.

There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"

Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"

Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?

Cows go moo.