School jokes
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isnβt working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?
Quiet kids.
I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.
Memes
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you wonβt regret it.
Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"
Orphan: "My family never came back for me."
School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you canβt say you werenβt warned, Mrs. Matthews!"
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: No one stands up.
Teacher: Oh, cβmon. I know someone over here is dumb. *teacher waves her finger around the left side of the room.*
Little Johnny: *stands up.*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think youβre dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad youβre standing alone.
Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.