Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!
Orphan: *sits there sadly*
So the fire alarm went off, but as soon as they walked out of the classroom, the only fire they saw was out of a gun.
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.
What do birds use to check their grades?
Air-ies...
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
I used to get pushed and called lazy in school.
Man, I loved that wheelchair.
High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣
That moment when the disabled kid has to take the Pacer test.
Why can't people in wheelchairs pass high school?
The pacer test.
So I was at high school one day in the bathrooms, and I'm circumcised, and the kid next to me wasn't, so he showed me his pp, and he had a foreskin, so I was just playing with it until the teacher walked in, then I got fired...
What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.
2019 Senior Prank: Hey fellas, let's black out the school. Haha, we're so sneaky, oh yes!
2020 Senior Prank: Hey guys, I'm a tech whiz, let's spread a rumor on the internet saying a disease called the corona virus exists! Haha, it'd be so funny and good, even the whole world might fall for it!
Everyone in December 2020 looks at tech whiz: "...you son of a b*tch!!!"
Tech whiz: "You guys are the a**holes! I mean you fell for it for a whole year!"
So, one day I was walking home from school with my best friend, Sally. She was worried to get home because she was going to tell her mom that Bob, the class rep, got her pregnant eight months ago, and now it was obvious she was pregnant. So I said, “Sally, it’ll be okay, I’m sure she’ll be happy to get a grandson.” “Yeah, thanks, Suzy,” she said to me, then went into her house.
The next few weeks she didn’t show up to school, so I was like, oh, she must be in trouble with her mom. I’ll go check on her.
So I walk up to her house and her mom answers with a baby boy in her hands. “Oh, hello. Is that Sally’s son?!! Can I see Sally?” Her mom says sure, and I go inside, but she leads me to the backyard and I see a tombstone. “Here lies Sally 2004-2020.” So I ask her mom in tears, “Oh, did she not make it through the birth?” And her mom replied, “You could say that...”
Why was the orphan able to avoid getting into trouble at school?
Because they couldn’t call his parents!
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?
Person B: Let me check.
Person B: It's greenglish!
My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.
And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"
I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.
I didn’t know what a class clown was till I went to a class and realized I was a class clown in kindergarten, and then I woke up from a nightmare.
Why was the asian late to class?
His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.
