School

School jokes

Idiot

  • RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!

    Richard: What????

    Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."

    Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.

    Rick: Oh I will.

    *It was the day March 21st*

    *9 Days later*

    *March 31st*

    Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man

    *one day later*

    *He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*

    Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up

    BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS

    *Richard*

    *oh he's the dumbass*

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  • Son

  • Mom: Son, did you go to school?

    Son: What if I said yes?

    Mom: You are in school! *slap*

    Son: Mom, I am moving out and I am moving in with my girlfriend.

    Mom: You are with...? Please don't move out =(

    Son: Mom, stop! So what if I am moving out? I am moving into my girlfriend's home. It's only for school.

    Mom: Well, you are kicked out of my home!

    Son: Good.

    Mom: I am sad now. Why did he move out?

    If you like it, please commit down.

    Wallet

  • Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?

    Son: No, I got 1k already.

    Mom: Wait, what, how?

    Son: Mom's wallet is magic.

    Grade

  • Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?

    'Cause he wanted higher grades.

    Ice Cream

  • Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?

    A. Sunday school!

    Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.

    Icup

  • Kalyn: Mrs. Frizzle,

    Mrs. Frizzle: Sure.

    Kalyn: Can you spell I-C-U-P for me?

    Mrs. Frizzle: Shut up, you little fucktard!

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  • Orphan

  • The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."

    The students said, "Oof, that is sad."

    The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"

    The students said, "Your parents."

    The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.

    Medical School

  • When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school.

    At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters

    'PNEIS'

    and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.

    Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.

    Bike

  • When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.

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