Say jokes

Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.

What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"

People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?

What did the kid say to the emo?

"Don't leave me hanging!"

I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.

When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"

The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"

My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day.

It was a complete waste of money.

He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."

What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me, something smells.

What did the balls say to the dick?

Hey dick, how's it hanging?

My roommate's diary says I have boundary issues.

I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.

How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?

Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.

Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"

Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.

LOL

Why did the Canadian cross the road?

To say sorry to the other side.

When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but I have the flu.

A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."

To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."