Say jokes

What did the titanic say as it was sinking?

I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge.

A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.

The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"

What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?

Hang in there!

Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."

What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."

I don't get it.

Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".

Segma says, "32!"

Ligma Says, "And?"

Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."

Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.

What did the north tower say to the south tower during the summer? Get ready for fall!

What did the person say to the orphan?

"Where are your parents?"

They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!

What did one orphan say to the other orphan?

"Robin! Jump in the Batmobile."

What did Bonnie say to Chica?

"Go kill yourself, dumbass bitch."

People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.

What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?

"Hello Ladies!"

When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️

A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."

A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."

A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.

"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.