Say jokes

What did one skeleton say to another?

...nothing... they are dead... what did you expect?

1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.

2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.

If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.

Welcome.

What did one statue say to another statue? "Hey! Is that you?"

If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"

Why are orphans always famous?

Because they say, "Go big or go home," and orphans only have one option.

What's a native chick say after sex?

"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"

Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?

Why do you say that?

Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.

An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.

The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."

I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"

Mum finds out child cheats in math test.

Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."

Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"

When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"

One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."

What did the rapper say to the fridge?

"Give me a BEET!"

Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.

A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.

Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. Their names were Johony and Papa.

All of the sudden, Johony passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies “My son just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says “Ok, now what?”

What did mum say when grandpa called?

Boomerang.

What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"

What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?

"Meoooow!"

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?

Thanks for coming!