Say jokes
A man walks into a bar and see's a naked lady, "WOOW SHES HOT!" HE picks her up and pee's on her and says, "Hi lady lets have sex."
What did one cheese say to the other cheese?
"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?
"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."
What does a Jew expecting guests say?
"Oy, vey, are they here yet?"
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"You're off rhythm, but I'll give you a hand!"
Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
"Tj and Prince, I really think we should stop doing this date night, date fight thing on this website because it's driving everyone crazy, and this is a joke website, not a dating website, so I say let's just take this to Facebook."
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
What did the sweet potato say to the potato when he was told to hurry?
I yam.
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"
Me and kid: hug.
Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
What do you say to a bully?
I might not be perfect, but at least I'm not you!
I always say no to drugs, but considering that I'm talking to them right now, I probably already said yes.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet?
"You look flushed."
What did the hairline say to the hat?
"We go way back..."