Say jokes

Why did people say a man had nothing? ... Because he was a-nonymous.

"Say, Tenya, I heard you say that you hate Gwen. Will [you] join us!"

A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"

An orphan was playing with a famous baseball player. The baseball player walks up to him and says, "Dude, I gotta teach you." The orphan goes, "Why? I got all your moves down." The baseball player goes, "But kid, you can never find home, though."

"Tj and Prince, I really think we should stop doing this date night, date fight thing on this website because it's driving everyone crazy, and this is a joke website, not a dating website, so I say let's just take this to Facebook."

I don't know what to say.

Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?

A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.

What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.

What did the bus say to the mail?

Dog.

What did Bob the police officer say to his chest?

"You're under a vest."

What did one arm say to the other? "What is your address?"

What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You're under a vest!

What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?

Mooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime!

Say hi to outer space. Hi, now say how are you doing to the moon. Hi, how are you doing? Why are you wasting your time? XD lol

What did the customer say when Beef a Roo made him a bacon cheeseburger?

Thank a Roo.

"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).

So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."

POV: An Asian kidnapper kidnapped an Asian kid, and the kidnapper called the kid's mom. Then the mom said, "No, it's fine, my kid got a B, he failed." And the kidnapper let him go saying he doesn't need a failure.

Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!