Say Jokes

What's the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?

The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."

Stephen hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people😳😳😳😳😳😳what did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy

What did the cat say when he fell off the table? * MEOM!

What did one nut say to the other nut ? Help

what did rainbow say to the other rainbow

nothing it was feeling blue

what did the skelaton say when he well on his funny he laugh

WHOEVER IS DELETING MY MESSAGES, COMMENT AND SAY WHY

knock knock who's there banana banana who knock knock who's there banana banana who knock knock who's there orange orange who orange you glad i did not say banana ha ha

Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?

A: Wanna hang out?

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?

How do emo kids complement each other? They say I like ya cuts g

I’m not saying you’re going bald, but you’ll find Waldo before you find your hairline.

if you ask an artist how to commit suicide, they will say a very creative way

A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, "Can I touch it?". The little boy looks back at her and says, "Hell no, you already broke yours off!".

My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”

I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”

A Pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers, the passenger asks, "Why did you become a Pilot?" The Pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says "You're afraid of heights?". "No, i'm afraid of dying alone".