Say jokes
What did the seal say to the shark?
"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
I heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains, but faith cannot move your receding hairline.
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
What did the skeleton say to Shrek?
"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."
Say all the planets: Mars, Saturn, Uranus.
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
Say "traffic," and replace "r" with "h." It sounds like... that thicc.
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.
When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
What did the fat girl say to the donut?
"I'm going to eat you tonight..."
So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.
Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"
No one wants him, not even the bees.
What did Sushi 'A' say to Sushi 'B'?
- Wassaaaa....B!
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
What did the rapper say to the broken vending machine?
"Yo, drop the BEAT!"