I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.
They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.
Q: What did the Ice berg say to the Titanic? A: I'd hit that.
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over.
What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you 'chip' a tooth?
What did Stephen hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh fuck I can’t get up them
How do emo's compliment each other?
They say " I like your cuts g"
I named my dog 5 miles so when I walk him I can say I walked 5 miles random guy: I ran over 5 miles
A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterwords he's sitting the the doctor's office and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "well, at least I don't have cancer."
Whats the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?
The rooster says.. cock a doodle doo The prostitute says.. any cock will do
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”
What happens when you say hey siri? Stephen Halking answers.
Whats the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob.
What did the wind say to the palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this is no ordinary blow job.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap
You have a great singer inside you
My best friend looked at my arms and said “stop sh it’s bad” then turns right around and says “you look like a tiger”
so from here on out i am now Finn the self harming tiger
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."
