Say jokes
What did the shell say to the shell?
"Shell you later."
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
Old people kept saying "you're next" to me at weddings, so I started saying it to them at funerals.
What did the Titanic say as it sank?
I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!
An Asian gets a choice between his rice cooker or his son. He instantly picks the cooker and says, "He got a B+ in maths last week; he's a failure!"
I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"
The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?
"Can you show me what rape is?"
What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?
"I don't get it."
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
Your Roblox friend counts to 10, but she doesn't count to "too." Then Roblox says: "Damn. Your Roblox friend can't count."
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
America: Saying, "I beg your pardon" in British English is like saying; "What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?"
UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.
America: Oh, I'm SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts 👖
What did Jupiter say to Uranus? Hey, I can see your Uranus from here!
Confucius say: "Gay man who take far, far away trip, hates to leave friends behind."