Say jokes

When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.

Charizarding.

When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons.

"My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances, I would have to jump out of the plane."

And his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?"

The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."

"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

What did the Indian say to the fat man?

"Curry up!"

I got a heart pain then I went to [the] hospital. When the doctor says I am dead, but I run then I jump. I am not dead!

Catholic men say eating broccoli is like anal sex.

If you’re forced to have it as a child, you probably won’t like it as an adult.

I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.

What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?

"Now sashimi, now you don't!"

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile?

"Get in the Batmobile!"

Buh dum tish.

An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."

What do you say when you see a pig making bread?

He's bacon.

Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.

I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!

What did one angry cow say to another?

We got some beef.

Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?

Answer: Damn!

What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?

Carlos.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Owl say.

Owl say who?

Yes, they do.