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A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."

So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

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    • I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."

    Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    Natyourcheese.

    Natyourcheese who?

    Natyourcheese, I wasn't gonna say bless you!

    Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    Banana.

    Banana who?

    Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    Banana.

    Banana who?

    Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    Orange.

    Orange who?

    Orange you glad I did not say banana? Ha ha!

    Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?

    A: You're the chairman of the board!

    A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"

    The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".

    The man asks, "Ten what?"

    Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".

    Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?

    You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.

  • 1

    • What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?

    "Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"

  • 2

    • Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."

  • 3

    • Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.

    Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"

    The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."

    Jake, Tommy, and Mike were adopted. Jake got adopted, Tommy got adopted, and Mike. Mike grew up to be an office worker. So you get a new job, and hear something about this guy named Mike.

    The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY!"