How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
A woman walks into a bar and says, "Ow!"
What did the orphan say to the other? "Quick, Robin, to the Batmobile!"
What does one gay guy say to his boyfriend before he leaves for a vacation?
"Need help packing your shit?"
What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?
"STUPID VINIGGER!"
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
Yo mama so fat when she step on a scale it say, "To be continued..."
I'm about to say this but.....
*whentheimposterissus*
What did the pen say to the pencil?
The pen said, "You're pointy."
Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"
Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."
What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?
The cat says "me toooo!"
I say what Kay’s jesjejejeeuedeeeeeeee.
When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.
Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.
You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.
My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"
I said: "Why?"
My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"
I said: "KNEW IT!"
So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.
Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."
What did one plane say to the other? "Let's fly!"
