Say jokes
I saw your license. It said you're 15.
I checked your face. It says you're 50.
What did the cow say to its udders? "Hi."
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?
A doggone catastrophe!
Why does an orphan cry when we say "ur mom?"
Because they have no mom.
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Olgh..."
What do Emos say when they trick-or-treat?
"Boo-hoo!"
My teacher says no phones allowed. I say my phone is allowed because I’m nobody, Dania.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."
So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."
Say what you will about Donald Trump, at least he's not Biden.
You're so fat, when you step on a scale it says, "To be continued."
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
So you're saying a penny is worth more than a penny?
That don't make no cents.
You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.