Said jokes

Why did the students eat their homework?

Because the teacher said it would be a piece of cake! 🎂😂

I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"

An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"

God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"

She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.

He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"

I was playing Warzone last night, and I shot my teammate that said they were emo. When I shot him, another player did, and it said "assist kill."

The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."

My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.

Went to see a psychic the other day.

I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"

So I turned around and left.

GOTTVERDAMMT, Hans! I said, "Glass of juice," not "Gas the Jews!"

I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."

My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"

I said: "Why?"

My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"

I said: "KNEW IT!"

A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."

And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.

I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"

Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"

Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!

My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"

I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."

He asked, "In an orphanage?"

The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"

I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."