What's red, takes my belt, and what I got from a weird children's house?
An orphan.
I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of screaming children.
Q: What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A: A bus full of children.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids drowning.
You're walking on the street when you realize that you're in the road as you feel the horn dying away.
Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.
How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2
-Harpoon it.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.
Condoms 99 percent effective.
Birth control 99 percent effective.
Etc.
Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
For a while, lead was used in pencils, but... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.
My bumper sticker says: "👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD."
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
A twin engine has two engines.
If one engine stops, the other will have just enough power to get the plane to the scene of the accident.
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.
