How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
Safety Jokes
Why are orphans afraid of your orphanage?
Because I burnt it down!
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
Toaster + Bath = The ultimate bath bomb!
It is not funny about kidnapping.
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
What did the traffic light say to the other?
π¦π₯π¦ Stop looking, I'm changing!
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.
Orphans: Going 180.
If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?
You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.
When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
If at first you donβt succeed... then skydiving definitely isnβt for you.
How do you tell if a blond is really stupid?
Put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod.
If Joe Biden and Kamala Harris jump off a cliff, who survives?
Americans...
How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?
They spray paint it like candy π¬.
President Joe Biden was jogging through some different jogging paths around this great county we live in and was jogging through Alabama and fell off into a swamp filled with killer alligators, and these 3 boys named Willie, Roman, and Little Johnny saw him fall in and jumped in and drug him to safety, and the president was like "Thank you, thank you, thank you SOOO much. I'm gonna give you boys a reward for saving my life," and asks them what their names were and what they wanted. The first boy said, "My name's Willy, and I want to go to Disneyland," and the president said, "No problem, and I'll take you personally." The 2nd boy said, "My name's Roman, and I want an autographed pair of Air Jordan Nikes," and the president said, "No troubles at all," and the 3rd boy says, "My name's Little Johnny, and I want a power wheelchair with an awesome stereo and killer wheels," and the president says, "You don't look handicapped, Little Johnny," and Little Johnny said, "I'm not, but as soon as I tell my parents who I saved, I will be"π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£
