my grandpa died to ligma :(
LIGMA BALLS
Friend 1: How come when you say "apart" your lips move apart, but when you say "together" they move apart?
Me: Maybe your lips want a divorce.
Everything I fall in love with leaves me. Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
Sad life goes, joke mom.
I cried when my dad was chopping onions. Onions was a good dog.
Why was the clown sad?
He broke his funny bone. PS: "funny bone" is not actually a bone.
F is for friends who don't talk to you.
U is for Ur alone.
N is for never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home.
What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."
The other man says, "How do you know?"
The other man says, "Because she is dead."
You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.
Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.
Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?
Because they have a break down.
Why did you go depressed?
Because you’re you.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.
(meaning sad)
My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.
That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Why did the orphan commit suicide?
So he could find home.
Mom: Son, did you go to school?
Son: What if I said yes?
Mom: You are in school! *slap*
Son: Mom, I am moving out and I am moving in with my girlfriend.
Mom: You are with...? Please don't move out =(
Son: Mom, stop! So what if I am moving out? I am moving into my girlfriend's home. It's only for school.
Mom: Well, you are kicked out of my home!
Son: Good.
Mom: I am sad now. Why did he move out?
If you like it, please commit down.
If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.
If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
Why is 10 so sad? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
