What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE
The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
How do you make a plumber sad?
Kill his family.
A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"
She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."
The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"
My life.
YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
Why was the whale sad?
Because he is blue!
So, my dad was drinking, so he was drunk, and I was sad. But can you be my friend, please?
What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.
It says enter a joke, but I can't enter my life.
What do you call a bus full of white people?
A TWINKiE!!!
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
Q: Why are orphans bad at baseball?
A: They can’t find home.
I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.
“Your right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.
“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.
