So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ, my titties, and then I saw the most a shoe got shoveled all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE'S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched the guy, got smacked in the face, went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF are you staring at?" I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I thought this, "This isn't over motherfucker, I'm gonna find you and kill you." Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. They told me, "Why tf were you fighting a stop sign?" I said, "What? You were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign?" I said, "Bitch, I ain't crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka"
I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
These ain't jokes. These are just sad truths.
"Knock knock."
Orphan: "Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
Why was the math book so sad? Because it was filled with problems.
Depression hits harder than my dad.
Why was the sea sad? Because it was blue.
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
How many fingers am I holding? I'm not holding any fingers.
Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. π
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: π.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: π³πΆπ.
My depression: π don't worry I'll always be here for you.
I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.
Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.
What does a rock and a girl have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions.
Onions was a good dog.
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.
1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.
Isn't it sad that orphans are only allowed self raising flours Orphan-πππ
When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?
