I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other
If you're American outside the restroom, what are you in the restroom?
European.
What are you on your way to the bathroom?
Russian
Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!
A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you
There's is this cute russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka
Q .What does a Russian girl do when she gets unexpectedly pregn A. Has an a bosch tion
What do you call a Russian Prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin. The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
An american is touring the Soviet union. A russian takes him to a school so he can see what its like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The american asks whats wrong and he cries "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
Dmitri! Wheres my v o d k a?
imagine the russians showing up late to the 1917 revoloution with a tsarbucks in hand. they were late so I guess they weren't russian. They were probaly stalin.
What's the difference between a Russian potato and an U.S. potato?
The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics
Why is the Azovstal Steel Plant important to the Russian? Because it stores Zelensky's balls of steel!
Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades?-- Because he was a Russian.
Why does russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
a russian wedding should be called a soviet union
What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?
An AK-46.
A dead Russian is trumps accountant
"Guess how I got to Germany so fast?"
"Because I was Russian!"
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
