Americans be like: Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road.
England be like: Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road.
Russians after a car accident be like: Here in Russia, road is road.
Russian twists into a ditch dead!
Have you heard about the new russian std? Rottsmikokov
if someones debated the speed of light and a drunk russian, the russian would take speed to grab a falling wallet
I will make a funny joke if u let me be your boyfriend. Im 19 and i am russian.
Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.
Putin: Crimea a river.
Why was the German in a hurry?
Because he was Rush-ian to get to work.
People claim that Trump has Russian ties.
FAKE NEWS!
All of Trump's ties are made in China.
(found on web) There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.
News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestlers legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.
John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip”
The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip”.
Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice. All of the sudden he heard the crowd irrupt in a chant of USA USA USA. He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see... Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?”
With heavy breath, John told him “Well coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”
“What???” Said the coach... “John I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified”
“I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls”
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe. (Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers each person spins it and try not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not you point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger)
I like this Russian girl but she hasn't asked me to hang off a cliff while drinking vodka
What do you call Joyce when she's running from the Russians? Winona Hider
what is a Russian joke
something that will be funny for Russian people
I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.
In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually
What does a "Smart Russian", and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer; Non-Existance!
“hey what’s the russian president’s name?” “putin?” “yeah, putin deez nuts in yo mouth”
When you're Russian to the bathroom, and when you're finished you're from Finland. what are you when you are IN the bathroom?
European
Why do you have to pay to see Russian people?
Beacause the zoo is not free, Duhhhhh🙄
