Running Away

Running Away jokes

Tree

  • If you spin a fidget spinner, You'll end up spinning it too fast. When you end up spinning it too fast, it will make you fly away. When you fly away, you'll end up in a tree. When you end up in a tree, you'll see that your friends are hanging out without you. When you see that your friends are hanging out without you, you'll run away in the woods because you're sad. When you ran away in the woods, you'll see a bear. When you see a bear, it will chase you. When the bear chases you, you'll build a fort to protect yourself. When you build a fort to protect yourself, you then notice you're lonely. You'll become friends with the bear. When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear. When you start to act like a bear, you will become a bear.

    DO NOT BECOME A BEAR! NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER!

  • 0
  • Puberty

  • God: Ok, so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look from being born to preteen.

    Satan: (slides in) I’ll take over for you, pops.

    God: I dunno... this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system.

    Satan: Don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18!

    God: Hmm... I’m still not- (Gets a call on his phone) Shoot, I got to take this. (Answers call) Don’t touch anything, Lucifer! (Walks away)

    Satan:.......(just touches lightly, and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away)

    God: (rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!

    God: (tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) Fuck me........

    God:....(sighs) Fine, it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty.

  • 1
  • Style

  • Repeat after me...

    Me: "You have a weird style."

    Mom: "You have a weird style."

    Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*

    Hairline

  • Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.

  • 1
  • Bread

  • I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.

    Dog

  • Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

    You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."

  • 1
  • America

  • Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".

  • 2
  • Jail

  • Things you never want to do in jail:

    - Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.

  • 3
  • Girl

  • I was playing a tennis match against a girl and said, "I will fuck you up." She said, "Try me." So that's exactly what I did, and I won by forfeit as she ended up running away crying.

  • 6
  • Rabbit

  • A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.

    A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.

    The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”

  • 3
  • Community talk

  • Scene: Cuddle-Time Chaos!

    DIO: I've already shared my blanket with Kakyoin, too. Polnareff must be snuggled up somewhere... Hah. But it doesn't matter. You're next, Jotaro! JOTARO: You big softy, DIO!

    DIO: Oh? You're approaching me? Instead of running away, you're coming right to me? Even though your grandpa, Joseph, told you all my best tickle spots, like an exam student scrambling to remember all the answe… Read more

  • Pretty crazy to watch the American government collapsing in real time like this.

    I wish the internet existed the way it did in the early 2000s during the Soviet union. I'd love to read message boards describing what people thought 5-10 years before the whole thing broke down.

    And then the aftermath of people picking at the corpse and becoming absurdly wealthy after scooping up those state assets.

    Republicans have … Read more

  • guess what???? i know something about ingenious. he’s actually not even that asian. well he’s half asian. how do i know this he goes to my school. plus he has a freshman girlfriend. he’s actually pretty pathetic. also he moved to another state because his parents were beating him so bad he had to go to foster care. and what he’s saying about him running away is true. he wants to go back because his foster parents are ABUSIVE. and i’m glad. -a friend