Running Away jokes

Why did 10 run away?

Now it's 8, 9/11.

Your eyebrows run away like your dad.

Q: Why did the chip run away?

A: His saucy friend tried to jizz on him.

Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.

Repeat after me...

Me: "You have a weird style."

Mom: "You have a weird style."

Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*

How did Sally die?

She got shot.

How? She could not run away.

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.

Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?

Because it didn’t have one.

What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?

"Get to the ground, beef!"

Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!

Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.

Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."

A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.

A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.

The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”

Things you never want to do in jail:

- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.

Why did Elsa's dog run away?

Because she let it go!

Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".

I was playing a tennis match against a girl and said, "I will fuck you up." She said, "Try me." So that's exactly what I did, and I won by forfeit as she ended up running away crying.

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?

I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.

What do you call it when Panera Bread is running away?

Panera fled.