When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
My friend called me a dick earlier. I said you are what you eat. He then proceeded to run away from me.
Dad. Son who do you want to marry when you grow up? Son. A ugly girl. Dad. Why not a pretty girl? Son. A pretty one might run away. Dad. So and ugly one might to. Son. Yeah but who cares.
God: ok so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look like from being born to preteen. Satan:(slides in) Iāll take over for you pops. God: I dunno....this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system. Satan: donāt worry your beard off! (Pats his back) Iāll just do the ages from 12 to 18! God: Hmm...Iām still not-(Gets a call on his phone) shoot I got to take this. (Answers call) donāt touch anything Lucifer! (Walks away) Satan:.......(just touches lightly and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away) God:(rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?! God:(tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) fuck me........ God:....(sighs) fine itāll stay. Weāll just call it....puberty
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit, he slams on his brakes, gets out and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired. A passing car slams on itās brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny pulls out an aerosol can and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The Bunny jumps up runs a few feet, then stops, turns around and waves itās paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until heās out of sight. The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says āWow that is amazing, what is in that canā the man looks at the can and reads the label āHair restorer, with a permanent waveā.
Things you never want to do in jail - never piss off an inmate - donāt start fights with the cops - donāt drop the soap - donāt run away from the cops
Whatās the difference between your dad and your hairline?
Nothing they both ran off
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Why did the indian cross the road? To run away from the pakistani
Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer but they only had 2 dollars each. Christopher got an idea and run away to the butcher and see if he got something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys. - Are you crazy?! Said Tony to Christopher. 'We don't have any money!' - Take it easy now, said Christopher. 'I have a plan.' When they finnished drink everything up christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth. The bartender saw what they did and throw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub. After the 10th pub said Tony: I can't do this anymore. I am drunk and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk. - How do you think i feel? Said Christopher exhausted. ' I dropped the sausage in the 3th pub!'
Why did Helen Kellerās dog run away?
Youād run away too if your name was afjlkawihrs gdfn wjasidphbfvnas icxhuvbjsdlk m.nd;fuoxcghkfjckoSZ: lF,.XMAVUDOXICUGJNWLFXCMV CKLSAXHV IJADHXC;IVKSA.
What do u get when u cross a stick and a dog a run away joke...