I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Battery 1%.
I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.
How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?
Because she runs away from balls.
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
If an orphan has a nightmare, they should run to their parents, oh wait.
Teacher: Don’t run into the road!
Down syndrome: Weeeeee!
Teacher: Lol, now he’s a mashed potato.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
Roses are red, I reload fast...
I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!
How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they don’t know where home is.
why don't indians play baseball?
Everytime they reach a corner they make a shop
Walking is just running with extra steps.
