y r ofans bad at bassball cos thay can't hit home runs
In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them Sound familiarđ¤ Well in september 11th...
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter! (Obtained by running over 69 children)
If you spin a fidget spinner You'll end up spinning it too fast when you end up spinning it too fast It will make you fly away when you fly away you'll end up in a tree when you end up in a tree You'll see that your friends are hanging out without you When you see that your friends are hanging out without you You'll run away in the woods because your sad When you ran away in the woods you'll see a bear when you see a bear it will chase you when the bear chases you you'll build a fort to protect yourself when you build a fort to protect yourself You than notice your lonely You'll become friends with the bear When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear when you start to act like a bear You will become a bear DO NOT BECOME A BEAR NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER
why couldnt the rape victim run away?
because she was dead
What Runs Faster Than Stephen Hawking In His Wheel Chair. His Internet
Three guy are in the woods, a a really smart guy, an average, and a really dumb guy, they bored so the smart guy decides to go hunting a little while later he comes back with a dear, the average guy asks how do did you do that? The really smart guy says says I see dear tracks I fallow dear tracks, I see dear I shoot dear. The average guy say I think I understand and leaves, an little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb goes *gasp* how did you do that!?. And the average looks at him funny and says well I see raccoon tracks I fallow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon I shoot raccoon. The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says Oooohh, ok I thiNo I can do that.. and leaves. Hours pass and and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mingled. They run to help him. Finally one of the guys ask him what happened this is what he said: I see train tracks, I fallow train tracks. I see train I shoot train. But train keep coming.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1 foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says âman, howâd you get such a short piano player.â The bartender says in responseâ thereâs a genie in the back of the bar.â The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says âI wish for a million bucks.â Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says âwhat just happenedâ the bartender replies âthe genie is half deaf, do you really think Iâd ask for a 12 inch pianist?â
mother got shot, damn father got shot, damn sister got shot, damn brother got shot, damn auntie running away with a shot gun
What do you do when you run out of lines on your book? You look at the emo girl and say "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"
A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isnât home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesnât need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts âVoodoo Dick, the door!â The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. âVoodoo Dick, the lamp!â The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsierâs desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. âVoodoo Dick, return to your box!â The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: âThe cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand.â says the cashier. âYou must never forget that!â The man nods and heads home. Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout âVoodoo Dick, my pussy!â The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just canât get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims âHelp, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it wonât come out!â The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. âVoodoo Dick my ass, bitch.â
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
Whatâs the difference between Stephen Hawkins and a refrigerator
-the fridge actually runs
What do u get when u cross a stick and a dog a run away joke...
So a guy is evading the draft, the cops bang on his door and he runs out the back and through and alley way onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse, she complies and the cops walk by and dont see them. The man comes back up from under the nuns blouse and saysâHey man, youve got a pair of balls!â The nun says, âI didnt wanna be drafted either....â
When a woman decides to abort it is called a decision but when I run my truck into a playground of kids it is called murder
It doesnât make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises. I mean, they arenât in wheelchairs so I donât know why they do it
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
So a Irish man is walking his poodle and his buddy comes running up to him saying thereâs a new pub in town and theyâre giving out free pints. So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says sorry you canât go in. The Irish man says why canât I go in? Well you have a dog sir and that sign over there says no dogs aloud your going to have to leave him outside. Well the Irish man thinks quick and says. Iâm blind itâs a seeing eye dog. The owner says thatâs ridiculous a seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that. The Irish man says well what kind of dog did they give me??đ
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child