A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round, because he was an odd man out
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." "Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. ! She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?" "No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
Now, how about that drink?"
The earth is flat
I told my girlfriend that the world is flat.
She said "but the world is round"
I said, babe you are my world.
What is a defenition of tight? A.Putting a blind man in a round room and saying your dinners in the corner.
What is round and squishy. A dead baby's head
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said “did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied “do you mean Nein millimeter?”
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."
Its embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down, lucky enough the super market is just round the corner.
A women walkes into a supermarket and sees a blined man swing a dog around in the air so the women walkes up to him and asked "what what are you doing" the man says " just having a look round"
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi
What do you not say to an Emo if u want them to come round? Wanna hang out.
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says "my brother has just been hit by a car." The policeman replied with "OK then first I need to know your name." "Shut up" "No, I need to know your name." "Shut up." "Excuse me but where are your manners." "Round the corner picking up shit."
Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?
Rose are red balls are round skirts are up painties are down belly to belly skin to skin when its stiff stick it in.
Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table.
Sir Cumference
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends family and food?
Someone told him that Shelby coming round the mountain.
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat? Sir Loin
