Round jokes

I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.

Your hairline is so wonky, "Wheels on the Bus" goes round and round on your hairline.

A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.

One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."

And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"

"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."

"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."

Said no horror movie character ever.

And also GTA logic.

I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.

Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.

Balls are annoying. They just bounce and never keep still.

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.

Flat Earthers

9/11 was a round of Clash of Clans. They knocked down two towers, not three.

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds?

Because it's the average class size.

How do you punish blind kids?

Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.

The wheels on the wheelchair go round and round.

I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.

I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater. You said it looked better on me than it did you. Only if you knew how much I liked you. But I watch your eyes as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes, Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were Heather. Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand. Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder. But how could I hate her, she's such an angel. But then again, kinda wish she were dead as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes. Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. I wish I were Heather. Oh, I wish I were Heather. Oh, oh, wish I were Heather. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were-

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

What is a definition of tight?

A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."

What is Green and Red and goes round and round?

A frog in a blender.

(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)

What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?

One can support an average family.

What is round and squishy? A dead baby's head.