Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea, the assistant asked him if “he wanted a roll with it”

========================= (pre-election 2016) Trump Hating Comedian at seedy East L.A. comedy club -

"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump… what the fuck up with that dude, man ?

“Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!” (< leap week, muthafukas !)

. . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that’s synonymous for bein’ fucked up, for instance …

STUMP : TEENY DICK

BUMP : TINY TIT

GUMP : DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY

MUMP : A FUCKED UP CHILDREN’S DISEASE

LUMP : IF IT’S MALIGNANT, YOU’RE KINDA FUCKED

UMP : OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS

RUMP : AN ASS

DUMP : A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS

HUMP : SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD

PUMP : SEE “HUMP”

. . . and last, but definitely not least --

JUMP : JUMP INTO A DEEP VAT 'O SCAT MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO STRAIGHT TO
HELL BITCH !! …

    HA!HA!HA!HA !  YESSS !!

… well boys and girls, that’s gonna be about it for me, as I think my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a big turn for the worse !"

…(splort !, plop !, drip !) … OOOOPS ! ‘snif, snif’ …

                ..... ewwwwww !! 
                                               
         (audience growing uneasy and unruly)

"Fuhhk ! … I better go now , 'cause I just went ! … ha! ha! ha! … Yikes !!

GOOD NIGHT LAZIES, AND GERBILMEN ! PLEASE DRIVE RECKLESSLY !

                                 (curtain drops)

(continuous laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants peeing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin’, fists fuckin’, guns poppin’, blood pumpin’)

"OH LORDY !!.. I THINK HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH,

… AND ARMAGITTIN’ THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE !!"

(one very quick curtain call, and swiftly out the back door to an awaiting taxi … with ALL the windows rolled down) Whew ! … Amen.

i rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick and i was like that log had a child.

He died because he rolled to far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.

I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind. So I called “TOLIET PAPERS ROLLING IN”

Why couldn’t the toilet paper roll down the road

He had a song named after him. They see me rolling

stephen hawkins couldnt make it to heaven cause there was stairs so he rolled down to hell

I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it. I took some of the boo boo out licked it and and rubbed it on a wall making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and i saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.

People with wheelchairs listen to rolling in the deep by adele

It’s so sad how Stephen hawking was just rolling to far away from the outlet RIP :(

I was in my car listing to my radio steve windwood’s song came on just roll with baby I said that must be one of steven hawkings favorate songs he sings to his girlfrined

Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid because he just rolls with the joke

My wife and I have been married over 30 years. But don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom. I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.

one day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore. It was like my skates were moving all by themselves but I decided to just roll with the situation

Keep Rolling you’re eyes and maybe you’ll find a brain back there

Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China’s overcrowded, and therefore they’re starving. They have to eat…

Panda: “My god. They’re coming! Run! They’re hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!”

Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: “Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!”

a girl looked in the fridge she got mad that somebody at the last ice cream cone she ran into her sisters room and said this is why your fat the fell down the stairs good thing she had that belly roll to save her.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes and every one is trying to shit on ya.

You’re momma is so fat, when she gets done having sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.

What is the first thing the disabled download on ITunes? They see me rolling, they hatin

Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up because that’s the way he rolls

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