Robber Jokes

Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?

A black guy.

Why can't orphans be robbers?

Because they're not wanted.

What game do zombies like to play?

Corpse and Robbers.

(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?

What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?

Someone gets hurt.

What is the difference between an orphan and a robber?

One is wanted.

Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.

Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?

Shut up and pass me the note.

You're so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.

Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?

So they will be wanted.

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"

She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.

He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"

When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,

they bring me things. <_>

Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.

So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.

Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?

Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.

Who robs and breaks into people's houses?

Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"

To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."

Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."

The police said "How old are you?"

Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.

A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.

The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."