Roast jokes
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
Me: Are you an alien?
Friend: No.
Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.
You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
Your mama is so fat, she sunk Atlantis even though it's in the ocean!
The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
"Bully," omg, that girl is so ugly.
"Me," Wait, what...ever.
Daday, chill, piss. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.
I'm jealous of the people who never met you.
You’re looking pretty rough this evening. You look like if sweatpants were a person.
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.
"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."
You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!
Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?
Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!