Roast jokes
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.
You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.
The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.
"Bully," omg, that girl is so ugly.
"Me," Wait, what...ever.
I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.
I'm jealous of the people who never met you.
My friend: You're ugly.
The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.
Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.
You were probably voted "Most Likely to Become an Ice agent" in school.
I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.
If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.
Take a few steps back like your hairline.
Yo momma so dumb, she got kicked off the short bus.
You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!
Where's your off button?
Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.
You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.
You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.
Blud is so old he pre-ordered the Torah.