Roast jokes

Charli tries to roast me: Roses are red, violets are blue, and you look like poo.

Me: You must have been born on the highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Do you know how Chinese people roast? They say, "Boy, if you don't get your chi chong head, boy!"

I have been charged, because I roasted a kid at a barbeque.

Violets are blue, or green, so is your face so ugly, too.

Ur mom so stupid that she thought that Seventeen has four ghost members.

I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"

I bet you're a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, btw your roasts are not fucking funny, they're bullshit like your face and your hairline.

Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.

Yo mama so fat, she uses the Gulf of Mexico as her hot tub!

A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.

His wife asked what that was for.

"It is for your headache."

"I don't have a headache."

He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"

I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!

By day I like girls, by night I like boys, but you, I wouldn’t like you at dusk or dawn.

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

You want to know what the ugly truth looks like? Go look in the mirror.

Just to get things straight, I'm NOT, I repeat, NOT racist, but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.

Bully: Your skin is so black and ugly (for the 5th time).

Me: I'm so happy you love my skin color!

Bully: Ew, no I don't!

Me: Then why do you keep talking about it?

I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.

- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"

- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.

- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

Balls.

Your hairline jokes are so bad that they make me want to rip all my hair out.

I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?