Road jokes
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
Why can’t the baby cross the road?
Walls.
Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
You were born on a road. That's where most accidents happen.
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
Why did the pedo cross the road?
To get to the pre-school on the other side.
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Rainbow road.
A black lady goes inside the drug store on Eight Mile Road in the city of Detroit, Michigan, and asks the pharmacist, "I would like to buy a box of tampons."
And then the black lady is asked by the pharmacist, "Do you want to buy the box of mini pads, or do you want to buy the box of maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
A 60-year-old man is walking along a deserted road with a 12-year-old boy. It’s getting dark, and the boy says, “Hey mister, it’s getting dark and I’m scared.”
The man replies, “You’re scared? I’ve got to walk back to town alone!”
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.