Road Jokes

One day when I driving around our children's school with my wife she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did we hear a loud, long scream.

All the traffic stoping the cars, how do you spell that without any R’s.

THAT

i had to stop drinking because i got tired of waking up in my car driving 90

Q-How did Hellen Keller break her wrist?

A-Reading road signs

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

why did theautistic kid walk across a busy road?... He was chasing is mind and got hit my a car

How is a beer can and a indian the same ? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!

why did the orphan cross the road because he doesnt have parnets

the man saw a kid on the road and the man asked the man: where are your parents. the boy: ........ the man left the adoption centre

What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.

My dad drove past a graveyard he said “I won’t be buried there.” I asked why. He said “Because I am not dead yet”

Why are orphans lucky because when they drive they don’t need a license plate because they don’t have a home

Kat what I did a cat jump over the road because he believes he came flying in the clouds Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah so funniest kitten kitten kitten kidding is my last time ofDo you Joooooooooooooooooooooookin

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor" she said. "S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber." They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B" "Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?" "I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her" replied Cobber. "Spot on" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples" "Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate" "No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper"