Right jokes
There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.
There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.
I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.
I like women's rights "jokes" because they're all facts.
Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.
I got a job at a library. I got fired after 15 minutes. They told me it was because I put women's rights in the fiction section.
Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.
Is it all right when there is nothing left?
Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!
Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?
Daughter: *tooth hurty*
Dad: All right.