Rest jokes

When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.

If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?

None, the rest fly away.

Why take a nap on the toilet?

Because it's a restroom.

I love going to sleep at night.

I did have a good night's sleep and a good day today, and tomorrow I have [planned] for a good night's sleep, and sleep with my...

"Let it go, LET IT GO!" Blah blah blah whatever the rest of the song says dun dun blah blah blah my mom never bothered me anyway.

I'm bored 😴 so that's why I sang in my wonderful voice for a few seconds and wasted your time.

The undertaker's famous saying is "Rest In Peace" to all of his opponents, but really they don't rest in peace. The only peace they get is from God.

How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?

You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.

I almost got run over by a car.

For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.

Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.

My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."

"So, uh, you free tomorrow?" 😂

Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.

If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.

You have the rest of your life to figure it out.

Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?

Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.

Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

Sleep and death are alike; it's just with death you don't wake up.

Stephen Hawking, rest in PC World.

What time should you go to bed when it's bedtime?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Goliath.

Goliath who?

I need to Goliath down and sleep!