New Response Jokes - Page 5 - Worst Jokes Ever

What do you say to a ugly girl who claims to have been raped?

“Are you sure you didn’t rape him?”

Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.

I told her, "Do a wheelie!"

"Have you taken a bath?"

"No. Why, did one go missing?"

My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.

I asked my friend Cammy what is 55+68 and he was to say it in words, he replied with "swebin".

Me: Calls 9-1-1.

Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?

Me: *hangs up*

Person: Why? You: No.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Mail man.

Mailman who?

Bitch, do you want your mail?

What question can you never answer yes to?

Answer: Are you asleep yet?

"You look like you've lost some weight."

"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"

Alex, respond to me, please! LOL

On this website, I just searched up "My jokes". In response, it said, "No jokes found." Wth.

A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3.

The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4".

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal. The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.

*Principal:* What is 3+3?

*Boy:* 6.

*Principal:* 6+6.

*Boy:* 12.

The boy got all the questions right. The principal told the Madam to send the boy to Grade 4 immediately. The Madam decided to ask her own questions and the principal agreed.

*Madam:* What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2?

*Boy:* Legs.

*Madam:* What is in your trousers that I don't have?

*Boy:* Pockets.

*Madam:* What starts with a C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?

*Boy:* Coconut.

*Madam:* What goes in hard & then comes out soft & sticky?

The principal's eyes opened really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge

*Boy:* Bubble gum.

*Madam:* You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do.

*Boy:* Tent.

*The principal was looking restless*

*Madam:* A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you are bored. The best man always has me first?.

*Boy:* Wedding ring.

*Madam:* I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I Drip. When you blow me, you feel good?

*Boy:* Nose.

*Madam:* I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver.

*Boy:* Arrow.

*Principal:* O MY GOD.

*Madam:* What starts with 'F' and ends wit a 'K' and if you don't get it, you've to use your hand?

*Boy:* Fork.

*Madam:* What is it that all men have, it's longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?

*Boy:* Surname.

*Principal:* Ohooo !

*Madam:* What part of the man has no bone but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin and is responsible for making love?

*Boy:* Heart.

*Principal:* Eeeeeh! The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the Madam, "Send this bloody boy to the university. I myself got all the answers wrong!"