Response jokes

9/11 called for help. What did that get? Nothing.

What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?

"I don’t have a mama."

When someone says: "You're a mistake."

Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."

When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

Man: Can you be my girlfriend?

Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.

Man: Oh, here's your rope.

My mom said, "Hey, come over here."

I responded, "Too late, Mom!"

My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!

Why do 911 jokes always fail?

They always crash and burn!

Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.

Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."

This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.

If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"

My bully: Your face is ugly.

Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.

My bully: :(

Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.

I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."

What's the difference between intelligence and apathy?

I don't know! I don't care!

Please write your comment.

But do not use words like monkey, donkey, loser, etc.

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.