There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."
I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"
When you send her a dick pic, but then she sends you one right back...
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
No, you!
Booooooooooooo!
One day a boy asks his grandfather for some money, and the grandpa says, “Well, can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy replied, “No.” So the grandpa says, “Okay,” and leaves it at that and walks off.
A few years later, the boy asks his grandfather for some money again, and his grandfather once again asks, “Can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy proudly says, “Yes, it can.” To which the grandpa says, “Good, now go fuck yourself.”
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
James: I have a joke. Sex!
Ronny: I don't get it.
James: Exactly.
If I called you gay, you would probably hit me with your purse.
So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."
No, you!
Knock knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
