A wife and husband go to a barn, the husband picks up a goat and says “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.” The wife says “Honey that’s a goat.” The husband replies with “I was talking to the goat.”
A Grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.....The Bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you". The Grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?” Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
The bell rings and Ana was about to leave but the teacher said "the bell doesn't dismiss you I do" the next day Ana was late and the teacher asked "why are you late " and Ana replied with "the bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive I do"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair. The man who controls the chair asks for any last words. The prisoner reply’s with: “Can you hold my hand?”
Did u hear about the tiktok post that offend disable people, some didn't reply cause the comment is disable
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: mom next year for the carnival can I dress up as a princess? the mother replies: why? you don't like the ice lolly dress from the last year?
I went to school on a Saturday. My teacher asked why am I here, so I replied that my brother told me to go to hell.
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange." So I replied, "No it doesn't."
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure. One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four.
I went to a tall girl and i asked her ̈ what do you do for a living? ̈ she says ̈ an account. ̈ so i reply with ̈ an accounting the hairs on peoples heads. ̈ and then i run away
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. "She obviously has COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste."
A man walks into a doctors office, Naked Wrapped in Gland Wrap.
The doctor reply’s with:
“I can clearly see your nuts”
Two fish in a bowl, First fish asks "Haven't i seen you around here before?" The second fish replies "F**k me a talking fish!!!!"
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Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know, I’ve only killed communists.”
I was at a concert, in the front row and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!". And I replied: "Is that a death fret?".
I once told an orphan to go big or go home, he replied I can't get home it got bombed
