A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted." Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!" The brother yells back, "Well at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."
The kid was abit sad, so he was blue. Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?" The kid replied, "im not sad." Teacher said, "no ur face acually blue"
Once i said to an Orphan....what the F mean in orphan.....He reply there's no F...Me: There's no Family
So a mom went to her kid and said "If you pray to god, he will give you your sight back" so he did exactly that The next morning the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kids room and asked "whats wrong" the kid replied it didn't work" The mom said "April Fools"
Guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real" I reply saying, yea it's Asa Hutchinson, lol
I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied 'why fix what ain't broke?????
I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day, he replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."
I asked my friend "shouldn't we have 6 senses?" he replied "what is the 6th sense?" "common sense" I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention" never mind" I said.
Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian why do think that I said the teacher replied because you're reading from Right to Left
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke. Hitler says, “Yes.” Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?” Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
A king ordered to executed a gay man. The gay man came and he said "please don't behead me have pitty". King replied " I will have pitty because I will implale you lets you enjoy your last moments".
I'm 5'6, and my mom is 5'1 and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck. And when she tries to hug me she says" You're too fucking tall kid" so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance and he replied I'm not much good, I have two left feet. Then how about Karaoke ? To which he replied. I have two left throats.
so there is someone who doesn't know what an armadilo is. He then sees one. he askes it a question. "What are you?" the armadilo replies, "Armadilo." the person says: "What's a dilo?"
the circular saw asked the chainsaw,"When am I as big as you?" the chainsaw would answer with,"When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner." the circular saw would reply with,"What?"
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale." "A gallon?" the barkeeper asks. "Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
one day chemistry teacher asked his student whose name is Raj waht is chemical formula of water the Raj replied HIJKLMNO TEACHER WHAT IS THESE RUBBISH THE RAJ REPLIED YESTERDAY YOU THOGHT CHEMICAL FORMULA OF WATER IS H2O,
a man died and went to heaven. here he met jesus. there were two clocks, the man asked whats with the clocks?. jesus answered this is mother theresa's clock she has not lied so the clock hasnt moved, this is abraham lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice so its moved twice. where's donald trumps the man asked. jesus replied: its in my office im using it as a ceiling fan.
Jack quietly crawled through Jill’s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone,
“Boo.”
“Jack!” She yelled, “what are you doing here?”
Jack sat down next to her and smiled.
“I figured today was a good day to maybe go up to the hill?” He said.
“That sounds fun,” said Jill.
“C’mon, let’s go!”
The kids climbed down from Jill’s second story window. The frolicked around in the fields, hair swaying in the wind, as they neared the nearby hill. Jack took Jill’s hand, and they skipped up to the very top of the hill. They sat down on the bright green grass and giggled.
“You ready?” Asked Jack
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Jill replied with a wink.
Jack laid his hand on Jill’s chest, softly pushing her onto her back. He got down on his knees, and bent down to the bottom of her dress.
“I’ve waited a long time for this...” he whispered.
Jack slowly pulled up Jill’s dress with one hand, running the other up her thigh. His anticipation was building faster and faster. He looked her in the eyes as he slowly pulled down her panties. Once they were all the way off, he turned his head downward. His mouth opened, his eyes went wide. Jack was speechless. Before he could say anything, Jill slammed his head down, gagging him with her giant cock. She sat up as she slammed his head up and down. Jack began to feel dizzy as he gagged and coughed.
“Silly Jack, didn’t you know? I’m not Jill. I never was. My name’s Randy. You’re mine now, Jack. So sit back, enjoy the ride.” Said Randy.
Randy moved Jack’s head faster and faster as he threw his head back. It was coming, fast. All of a sudden, he stopped. Jack’s head stood still as his mouth became a fountain of white, drizzling all over Randy’s legs and onto the grass. Randy let go and Jack jumped back, spitting and trying to get it all out of his mouth. Just as the dizziness began to fade, Randy walked over. The last thing Jack saw was Randy’s fist hurtling towards him...
The teacher asks "who is a trump fan?" everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?".Little Johnny says"Because i'm not a trump fan" The teacher asks "Why are you a trump fan?" and Little Johnny says "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so i'm a democrat" and then his teacher says "so if your dad was an idiot and you mum was a moron, what would that make you?" and Little Johnny replies "a trump fan"
