Little johnnys teacher asks him "Johnny ,do you pray before you eat?" little johnny says "I dont need to, my mum makes good food.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
Spray and pray, also known as a priest with an altar boy
Why does a orphan have to go to church, cuz thats the only way he can pray for a father.
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.
Lettuce pray.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
Yo'Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
When I was little I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike, I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead i just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped
When a military dies we shoot aII night, when a drunkard dies we drink aII night, when a Christian dies we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies,what should we do???please tell me
If it's true what they say and I quote; "God never gives you more than you can handle"
Then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.
A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"
why do orphans pray to God.
so they have someone to call father
I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.
Jesus, that's sick.
What do u call a Muslim praying: alluakber
whoever said that about me better pray!
What do you call a fat woman that prays?
A holy cow.
A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there" the boy replied. The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked "do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" the boy replied " "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing" said the pharmacist. That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. the girls father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "you never told me that you were so religious" the boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist"
Women: Can I have your number?
Jesus: No..
Women: Why? Are you scared?
Jesus: No. Just when you wanna talk, just pray.
