Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
When I was little I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike, I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead i just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
Little johnnys teacher asks him "Johnny ,do you pray before you eat?" little johnny says "I dont need to, my mum makes good food.
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What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
If it's true what they say and I quote; "God never gives you more than you can handle"
Then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
Spray and pray, also known as a priest with an altar boy
When I was little I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike, I learned one week in Sunday school that that’s not how it works, so instead i just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah Mary Agnes, congratulations!"
She gave him a puzzled look. "on what?"
"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."
Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
why do orphans pray to God.
so they have someone to call father
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed "I want to see your face again mommy...". A miracle happened, his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said "I want to see you too dad". He looked at his father's grave but nothing happened
Suddenly a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked "were you looking for me?"
I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.
Jesus, that's sick.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died. When she met God she asked Him how come you didnt answer my prayers? God replied 'i did, i kept sending men to rape you but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion'
What do u call a Muslim praying: alluakber
whoever said that about me better pray!
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing. Hi we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun? So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with I have two parrots as well, they are always praying and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours. They proceed to do so and the lady's parrots say hi we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun? and the pastors parrots reply with Johnny drop your beads and lift your heads our prayers have been answered.
