Religion jokes
If Jesus had a gun, what would it be? A nail gun.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
No... He got nailed! 😅
Q: What do you call a nun in a pool? A: A bath bomb.
Yo mama so black, when God saw her, he said, "Let there be light!" but twice.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?
Orphan: *Sobs* "No."
God, I love working at an orphanage!
Do you know how many women have been pope?
Nun.
Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because we were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin.
Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you!
I would curse at you, but my country praises cows.
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.
God: Who ever kills Hitler will go to heaven.
Hitler: 👌👌👌👌
God: 😩😩😩😩
What is Satan's way to go to places? A helicopter.
You'd think the Catholic Church would be in favor of condoms... less DNA evidence.
Why Satan didn't stop sending messages to God about hell?
'Cause they made a juice out of him.
Bible Verse of The Day - For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.
—Romans 8:15-16
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.
Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.