My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
Religion Jokes
What do you call a pansexual pedophile? Jesus.
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing, his mouth was full.
Meya eats meat all her sins is go off when she eat meat.
What happened to the eight-year-old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church?
The priest stopped him on the way there.
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist.
The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"
God better hope they got an elevator to Heaven.
How do you make holy water?
You take it to church ⛪️
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"
What's the difference between a pope/preacher and acne?
Acne comes on your face when you're 13.
Why do Indian men marry fat women?
Because they worship cows.
What do McDonalds and priests both do?
They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.
Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.
Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.
