I dont need a girlfriend cause i got my cousin brooo
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?
Because They don't need permission from their Parents
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for miraculous ladybug childrens show whatever the show is called but its a kids show. Skull emoji. Now they’re searching up pictures of tom holland laughing in their absolute weirdness. I like Tom Holland but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on google docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle? my girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
Who needs singles day when your single for the rest of your life!
So as a school shooter, I try to remember my abc's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN! And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speaks to me about the rest.
I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
today, i asked my phone, "siri why am i still single" and it activated the front camera
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me? Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.
Mom: son where is my condoms son: what are condoms DAD: she puts it on me and the sandwich son: wait why did my girlfriend come over and take one dad: um I don't know but go to bed son: but it's 2:46pm in the afternoon bruh
I have an awesome sex drive, my girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.
disease technically means "lack of ease", so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease that's what elliot rodger did
if u were a vegetable u would be a cute-cumber
what makes a nuke and divorce the same?
it only takes one of each to end your life.
Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone
Ex Boyfriend: how and why?
Girlfriend: Because your about to die
nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users
My wife told me pass her lip stck but i gave her a glue stick now she is not talking to me
what makes a cult and a racist family of 5 common? not all are friends
