My Wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side So i crashed the car, then didnt talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George"
My ex's dad died while she was texting me she said she had a boyfriend but I told her I had a dad.
I heard you were looking for a stud... I already have the STD, all I need is u.
roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish
What do your BF and the twin towers have in common?
They both never get erect
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian I ask her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better
why did the emo break up with her boyfriend
he didnt wanna hang out.
U twin towers because I'm tryna ram in u tonight
Why can't an orphan get married. It doesn't have its parents blessing.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don’t work out.
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh how did I survive. Fortunately being her husband I was the 1 person she wasn't fucking.
I once was playing with my friend and roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. i broke up with her and unfriended him then i saw my mom and my uncle crying! Me be like : ;-;
my grandma told me i was next at my brothers wedding so i told her she was next at her husband's funeral
What do orphis and broke up couples have any common
They cant see each other anymore
We split because she used always say I never listen, or something like that
My wife called me a pedo that's a big word for a 6 year old
How fast is the speed of sex?
68 because at 69 your got to turn around.
