Relationship

Relationship Jokes

Twix

My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."

Ladder

My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

Fight

How do you break up a fight between two gay men?

Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"

Name

Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?

A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.

Kid

What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?

"Where are the kids?"

Seafood

What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?

I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!

Dinner

What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?

"Will there be seconds?"

Sex

My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.

Mom

Violets are blue, roses are red.

Last night your mom was giving me head.

Son

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

Wife

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.

Bridge

What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?

They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.

Meat

How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?

Put barbecue sauce on it.