Relationship jokes

Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.

What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?

"Want to see if it fits?"

Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?

Ken came in another box.

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?

Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?

Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?

Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...

Son: Am I kidnapped?

Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.

Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.

Just because she can't crawl doesn't mean she can't eat my balls.

If her internal clock can tock, she can sit on my cock.

If her internal clock can tick, she can sit on my dick.

If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?

A unicycle can only take one person at a time.

What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?

You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.

I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."

What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.

I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.

What's the difference between me and my mate...

I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.

Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.

Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?

He gets to tear that ass up one more time.

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?

Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.