A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.
The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.
Why do you call a priest a father? Because calling them daddy would be too sus.
You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.
Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
I got a pen for my baby sister. Best trade I made so far.
Why don't emo girls date emo boys? Cause they've already got a pussy.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,
Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.
Why do orphans cry alone?
They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
Doctor Seuss break up lines:
"One fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish, I'm breaking up with you, bitch."
I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.
Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.
Roses are red, clovers are green.
I love your legs and what's in between. LOL
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Mary."
"Mary who?"
"Marry me!"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You a dumb a** b*tch, We all know it's true.
