Relationship jokes
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
My family.
Connor: Hi Mom.
Mom:
Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!
Who did Stephen Hawking love more than anyone else?
His wife, "Eye," who was also bad at running.
I fucked my mom.
"and i oop"
Me: I’m going to get burrito 🌯
Friend: You can have my burrito baby.
Gay.
Friend: *begins to moan*
Me: Finna hang up.
What is so annoying? A younger sister.
"What is your number?" "Hi."
It’s like going to the orphan and telling your mama jokes.
Why did Johnny cry?
He was molested by his sister. Johnny enjoyed it, though.
There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
I finally got my wife to shut up.
Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years, ha! Try telling me to get my feet off the couch now, Karen!
Why doesn't Batman need Robin as a wingman?
Because he has no problem robbin' your girl.
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.
I like my women how I like my wine.
Aged 9 years and lives in the basement.
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐