Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
Just too bitter.
I sucked a dick.
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
My friend is gay lol. I'm a spagetie fucc, lemme smash, Becky!
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
Why did Sally not save the mountain climber?
Because it was her dad.
Yo mama!
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"
I said, "No, it doesn't!"
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.
The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."
Why did the man walk into a bar?
Because he just broke up and he needs alcohol, you dummy!
What's Asian but has broken up with its girlfriend?
A dumpling.
A fan gave another fan a blowjob.
I fucked your mom, that's why I've been paying your life support since you were born.
I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.
Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.
My brother truly is a numbskull.
I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."
Man's got that big bati, you know.
