Relationship jokes
My wife is like a mirror.
I can never look at it.
Dads are boomerangs, I hope.
A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.
The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.
That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."
Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.
Masochists and sadists are made for each other.
A guy walks up to a girl. He says, "Hey, you want a poker? I’ve got one."
Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.
Guy: Are you gay? I'm orphan.
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
Gwen pegs Xavier.
Wait, since I'm underage from having sex, what is it like?
Watersharky, do you hate me?????
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was pegged.
Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.
Oh, yeah! FRESHFRY fucked a boy!
Hey Gwen, uhhhhhhh, fresfry told me to tell you I like you. Jk, I don't.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They do not have anyone to call "daddy."
1st graders: Ay yo girl, I think you’re beautiful, let’s get married!!
2nd graders: Uhh, don’t tell my mom that we’re dating!! She won’t let me date! Let’s keep this a seeeeecret heeheehee.
3rd graders: Uh, my teacher told me to stay after school because I wrote a poem about you and I’m 9 years old, we have to break up, sweetie.
4th graders: Hey, I think you’re cute!! Wanna date? I don’t think my girlfriend will mind.......
5th graders (they start wearing makeup): Ay girl, your eyelashes are pretty, I like you now, wanna date? Here’s my numberrrrrr.
6th graders: Heyyyyy, I gotta tell you a secret, I got a crush on you!! Don’t tell anyone!! Byeee, ooh, I’ll text you later!
7th graders: We need to make Peyton jealous because she broke up with you!! Wanna date? I mean, you’re not hot, but still, great personalityyyyy, alright, bye now.
8th graders: Hi sweetheart, I got STARRRBUCKKKSSS
Me: UGLY AF AND LITERALLY NO BOYFRIEND.....
Guy: Do you want a nickel?
Girl: Sure.
Guy: So you’ll tickle my pickle?
Girl: 😳😩😩😩
What do you call your mom? Gay.